Arkham's Comedy
by Khaotic Komic
Summary: We visit the Dark Knight in his journey through his own unique hell, purgatory, and paradise; as our hero not only struggles against both Joker and Riddler, but a vengeful Gotham City.  Batman finds himself locked in battle on Arkham's grounds.
1. Chapter 1

_**Arkham's Comedy**_

_**Chapter One – A Greater Power**_

The waning crescent peered from a brightened sky, sharing stock in the heavens above with the red sun. Streets were littered with the libel, slander, and redundancy of the presses, as scum and sagacious alike, stood side by side in wait of an ultimatum.

"_The Just brought to Justice?"_

"_With the Batman Captured, will the real Law Enforcers Please Stand Up?"_

"_Will the Jail-Bat Sing?"_

The headlines swarmed and the people followed, as the press conference featuring the Commissioner of Police, Jim Gordon, couldn't come any sooner. Blood of Gotham's finest detective still stained a red carpet for the entrance of Arkham, and the podium was set for the Commissioner to speak on from a stage of controversy. The tension of security had been pulled snapping tight, and the only feasible location for a meeting addressing the situation was in the very spot that it was occurring.

Somehow the unthinkable had happened, and no one knew what to say from here, as a hero had been committed to an asylum, and the psychotic roamed the streets.

Only one thing was more enticing than the fact that Batman was incarcerated, and that was the reason and who was set to address it. Hours prior to this now brewing press conference a practical joke took place. A joke one doesn't get the indulgence of laughing at, but merely marveling at the irony behind the bleak comedy. In efforts to bring two of the most dangerous men in the city to justice, a citizen was implicated and lost her life.

Barbara Gordon, deceased at age twenty-seven, was caught in the fire of good verses evil.

Already a city knew not, whether to mourn the loss of a Commissioner's daughter, or condemn the hero who opted to pursue a fleeing villain while the skin was seared from her body in the cage of a burning building. Crucifying a man who once served as a savior, or symbolizing him as an emblem of justice at all costs was more dividing than the decision of capturing the villain, or saving the girl, that Batman had previously been faced with. The great divide it seemed, but the city fell quiet in adherence to will of Jim Gordon, waiting to garner behind his direction.

The chatter outside of Arkham Asylum, where the press conference was set to take place, came to a close when five police officers came out of the building, one of them approaching the microphone's set up with all the major news broadcasters holding their own separate place. He cleared his throat and spoke,

"In respects of the recent passing of Barbara Gordon, the Commissioner will not be answering any questions regarding his deceased daughter, or the case revolving conviction for it. All other inquiries are open for discussion."

A silent pause overtook the audience, as the populate face of the audience was content and understanding. Nobody knew how the Commissioner was taking the news of his daughters passing, and it seemed perfectly logical to keep something like that out of the mainstream for the moment, given the immediacy of his response after its occurrence. A slow clap started at first sight of Jim Gordon coming out of the building, and then a quickened pace, until regular applause opened up for the man set to address the people of Gotham on the concerning issues of Batman and the menaces still at large.

Once up to the stand, there seemed to be an awkward pause as everyone looked around, unsure of how to start the questioning, but knowing that there was so much that need be asked. Finally a lapse in the silence occurred when one reported voiced his question.

"Commissioner, as we understand it; you have the vigilante known as 'Batman' in your custody. A question that has long been pondered, by anyone aware of his presence: Who is Batman?"

Taking a deep breath, the Commissioner brushed his hair out of his face and pushed his glasses firmly up onto his nose. The question was more than expected, but now that it was physically in wait of an answer with an abundance of listeners, now hanging on the imminent answer, it was almost eerily intimidating. For so long, the city had waited to know who the man behind the mask of justice was; and now the answer was literally a few words away, as the camera's began flashing and the handhelds were erect and pointed towards Gordon.

"Well… The long awaited solving of the great mystery, has not yet arrived. Your sources are correct, we do have the Batman in Police Custody, contained here at Arkham Asylum, but due to the extremity of the situation, revealing his identity to the masses, or even a Police Force, known for inward corruption would prove more dange…"

"So you would protect a man who allowed your daughter to… Well… With this one chance, this one opportunity, which may be gone tomorrow, or today; you would allow the identity of a criminal to slip through your hands?"

Gordon looking mildly baffled by the combative responses of the mass media leaned back down to the microphones, regaining his composure as the speaker.

"Sometimes not knowing, is the only appropriate response, because we aren't always ready for the answer that we seek. We look in Pandora's box, letting out all the secrets worth keeping, only to find out that the magic was in the mystery."

Unbeknownst to the media standing before Gordon, his eyes were slightly swelling with the tears of grievance as the interview was already bringing him emotionally closer, to the acceptance of his daughter's death. He tried his absolute hardest to keep his voice strong and without shake, as he delivered the answers to the questions asked. But after his last statement, he placed his index finger and thumb under his glasses wiping his eyes, very subtly as to not attract attention to the brief emotional lapse.

"So Commissioner, you would stand behind the imprisonment of a the lesser of two evils?"

"Justice is not finite, so if it means taking one step in the right direction, I'll gladly put one foot forward, regardless of the unknown terrain I step on. We face hard times, but I believe in building a better world, brick by brick."

A man stepped in front of Gordon quickly, first whispering to him and then addressing the crowd telling them that they had one final question. So with that, one last reporter voiced aloud,

"Commissioner Gordon… In our darkest hour, who will take up the sword with our Dark Knight in chains?"

The look of uncertainty overcame Gordon's face, as he confidently parted his lips to answer the question,

"That I don't know. With both, Joker and Riddler at large, the outcome of this midnight hour, is in the hands of a greater power than my own."

With that, Gordon walked away from the podium, heading back inside the confines of Arkham Asylum.

_I ran into the fields, father at my back, his voice telling me to come back inside. I should have turned around but I didn't. Why didn't I listen to him? Instead I traveled farther into the plains, which I thought I knew so well, but in the end; farther into darkness. Farther into the void which would become my life. The mask of uncertainty that covers the face of all who leap without looking, but I never leaped._

_ The ground beneath me collapsed and I found myself falling. Falling into an endless black abyss, which I thought I would never see the bottom of. But it was shown to me. The underbelly of void, and staring into nothingness, they came for me…._

The canvas of white walls stared inwardly at the remains of Gotham's knight. Cell #13 seemed fitting for the most controversial inmate committed to the Asylum, and with a loud thud, the door opened and a officer of uniform walked in. The dimly lit room and shadow cast from his hat masked his facial features, but his name badge read "Lt. R. Hood" as he stood before the scabbing wound of Gotham's embodiment.

"And here I thought I'd never see the day."


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2 – Lunacy**_

___Why is there so much bad before so little good? The best jokes are the ones we should never laugh at, but do, because any other response would force us to see the way the world really is. But I stopped laughing so long ago. I gave up a life of blissful oblivion for one that requires madness to endure. It requires me to look directly at all the bad, minding the faintest sign of good. The comedy of what I do is buried beneath the joke of what I fight for. _

"… When it's all said and done, you end up in the loony-bin, poorly treated by the medical staff, basking in the wounds you suffered for the city that now finds you guilty until proven innocent."

_The punchline was finally dropped for me, and it turned out to be one big joke after all. I still see my mom's head cracking against an unforgiving pavement, her pearl necklace following behind her in pieces. My father was already dead, bleeding out next to her. He tried to protect what he loved most, but they both ended up in the same boat._

"I keep asking myself, 'Why does he do it? He knows that Gotham regards him as the same as the rapists, child pornographers, and scum of the city. But yet he still bites the bullet for the very people who would put on in him.'"

_So here I am, staring at the noose for my vigilant actions that, I tell myself, will keep things like my parents death from ever happening again. But in order to fight against the disgusting tumult of a corrupt world, I must live tumultuously. In order to combat the evil nature that is laced in the DNA of humans, I must be inhuman. And in order to avoid the bitter comedy of a bad joke; I must be… _

"And now, here you are. Eye to eye with the law, eye to eye with injustice, eye to eye as a hero. Ha! And eye to eye with…"

Pulling off his hat, Lt. R. Hood revealed a face canvassed in white paint. Eyes blackened sloppily, distorting any sense of emotional conveyance. And the red smile. A smile that symbolized more than happiness, more than content. A smile that symbolized…

_…The Joker._

"… Me!"

… The Joker. Reaching into his pocket, The Joker pulled a key to hand cuffs and threw it on the floor in front of Batman. Smiling ear to ear, he then casually walked to the other side of the room, leaning against the wall.

_I glanced at the name badge, serving as a significant staple in the uniform of my greatest rival: A badge that served as a staple in my memory. Lt. R. Hood. R…Hood. I thought back of a man, confused with the crime he had gotten involved in, falling over a ledge into the waste of his own mistakes. I was helpless to prevent the accident. This man wore a hood over his face at the time, probably at the request of a power greater than his own. A __**red hood. **__Lt. R. Hood. Lt. Red Hood. I was the cause of the joke that has taken so many in its bitter comedy. I was the comedian. I looked up to the void serving as his eyes, as I threw the handcuffs, which were supposed to be keeping me bound, at his feet without the use of his key._

"Ah, how rude of me to insult your talent, after all; we are the same."

_"We aren't the same…" _

"But yet here we stand, Batman, both free of our shackles placed on us by a society that is at our mercy. Do you expect me to believe they finally got a hold of the rodent that scampers about at night, Bats?"

_"How I got here is irrelevant to the fact, that I am here."_

"Yes, and that's my point exactly! You know me so well! We are all just 'here' and in this chaotic presence, we attempt to hold some sort of understanding by creating false realities such as law and reason."

Batman made his way to his feet, not approaching The Joker, clearly giving him a strategic scan. He knew in his experience with dealing with him, that even standing right before you, there was more to him than a purple suit, green hair, and make-up. One wrong step, and it could mean something as small as tear gas to the face, or as large as the explosion of a hospital, miles away. So he allowed him to continue on with his spiel.

"You see, I knew that you always held to the idea that one day you would pay for your actions against me and my ilk; not to my understanding of course. But I never knew that you would throw in the towel so early! So I off a broad that happens to be related to the Commissioner; is that really a reason to call the game? You've forgotten what you stand for!"

_"I don't think you could ever understand what I stand for, Joker. You are the exact opposite of me, and look to prove that you are not alone in this world by comparing my standards to your indecencies."_

"Indecencies! Ha Ha! Batman, we are all the same, living in the same indecent world! Behind the masks, we are both men who chose madness over reason, because we've seen the animals that claim to be reasonable.

This world is burning, and in the end the thin line that separates the calculating reason from the imaginative madness will go up in flames. You fight for balance; as do I. We're at odds with what balances it, because I would not indulge in the idea of man attempting to control this world. Because the scariest part, is that we are completely out of control."

_"It's only scary to you, because you believe that the random dots connect at a point of destruction. You see the terrible side of uncertainty. And because of that, you can't cherish what we will never control."_

"Perhaps you're right Batman, but regardless; I don't intend on just sitting around watching the show. Oh, funny story about 'Cherish.'

So there was this girl named Cherish, she had just gotten her license. Night came, and her parents told her that even though she had it, she wasn't ready and not to take the car out while they went out. She assured them she wouldn't, and as soon as they were gone, did the exact opposite.

She picks up her friends, hitting the town; only to find out, she wasn't ready. She crosses the median, hitting a car head on in oncoming traffic killing all of its passengers as well as her own.

Lying in the hospital on her dying bed, she tells the nurse, 'Promise me that you'll tell my parents I'm sorry for disobeying. Tell them I love them, and that I should've listened. Promise me!' And then she died. Ha!

But the best part, the doctor walks in to the scene and asks the nurse if she intends to tell the parents like the girl wanted her to promise. The nurse says, Ha Ha Ha! Sorry excuse me, the nurse says, Ha Ha, 'I can't, because the people in the other car were her parents.

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!"

The Joker pulled a device out of his pocket, a remote control, staring finally back at Batman. Batman gestured a signal that would suggest for him to wait, but reasoning with the Joker was not so simple.

"Cherish, what we can't control, right? You see Batman; the chaos of things isn't so sweet in the end. We attempt to grasp the keys to life, only to find out that we are crashing down a road of anarchy. And on our deathbeds, we finally see that we never should have tried to control this vehicle that we are all riding in to start with.

But I don't intend on letting you lock yourself up to throw away the key. No, I've got a better idea! Let's see how out of control this ride really is! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ha!"

The Joker kicked open the cell door and pressed the detonator as the thunderous crack of explosions went off, rocking the very foundation of the room, which they both stood. Half of the building erupted in flames and smoke as the chaos of the Asylum knocked even the media outside off their feet. The part of the building, which was not hit with explosives, was still devastated due to proximity, but as the lunatics and mentally unstable ran out of the now unlocked room, chaos spread.

_**Chapter 3 – Riddles of the Grand Design… Coming Soon!**_


End file.
